Especially for you …

Really, if by any chance you read this post, I’d like to say thank you so much, since I never have confidence to tell about what I feel to you directly.

Well, the first time I knew you was in 2007. It was about 6 years ago. Wow, it’s a little bit unbelievable realizing that we’ve been known each other for 6 years, though we didn’t communicate since 2 years ago.

You know, if I recall the way how we met, how we knew each other, how we were in a relationship, how we were separated, then we were close again, then we were likely two persons who don’t know each other, and finally we are just like now, if only I think about those things, the fate between us is just funny though still be a mystery. 

6 years ago we knew each other due to fate. Yup, I can say it was fate since among so many boys out there, why was it you who chatted me up and even gave me your number. At that time, we were only two innocent teenagers who consider that having a relationship is as easy as having a doll, where in one day you can be with the doll all day long, but in the other days you can even forget that you have a doll that you can play with. Yeah, we were just so innocent at that time that we agreed to start our relationship regardless the fact that we were so much different. There was distance between us; from the real “distance” between your house and mine up to the distance between our age, our thought and even our feelings. After struggling to survive our ill relationship for 6 months, you were the one who gave up first. You just left me in confusion which is until now I still can’t figure out the reason why you left me first, without a single word of explanation. I still tried to call you, to ask for a little bit enlightenment of what was actually wrong from you. But then I found you were already with another girl you love, and both of you seemed happy. Then I finally decided to give up, and automatically our relationship ended.

I bet you don’t know this fact, but that was the first time I feel that my heart was broken. I felt like it hurted me so much that I cried over and over again. You are the first boy that I bring to my house and I introduce to my family directly. You are again the first boy who introduced me to the misery of being hurt, feeling betrayed, and feeling empty. But, now the more I think about it, the more I should thank you because it strengthened me. 

Well, time flew so fast. Day by day, I can completely bury my hurted feeling regarding you. Then, we can be friends again. It didn’t take a long time until you informed me that we will study in the same university. What a fate!

Since then, our relationship was getting abstract. I’m not really sure if our relationship can be called as friendship, since we have certain pattern in our relationship. There were times when we communicate frequently and then we didn’t communicate at all, and one day we will communicate regularly again and then we didn’t at all. And do you realize, that it was always you who start and end the communication first. What a you!

At last, I had no chance to tell you this in the past, so I’d like to tell you now, that once, in my life, you were special and even up to this point, when we have been apart for so long, you are still special for me. I might never be in both of your heart and mind for real, but I just want you to know that you and your name always have a special little spot in my heart. I tell you this not because I want you nor I want to be with you again. These all are just what I want to confess and what I want you to know. Now, you live your life and so do I. Time changed, the world changed, and we also changed. It makes me pretty happy to know that you are mature now; you are being serious regarding your present relationship and your girl. Just be a nice husband and father in the future yaaa, No~ I do really hope that you will read this post 😉

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